Bitches love me cuz they know that I can rock~

nyxcarver:

shutupnswag:

Yeah I only get five…. 8(

Holy shit yer really gonna send me one?? Fuck yeah!

Just don’t worry about me while I’m here okay? I’m doin’ great and sometimes its hard but if shit ain’t hard it aint worth it, right? I hope yer okay…

TURNER IT’S GARRISONS TIME FOR THE PHONE! HANG UP NOW OR TWENTY FOR ANOTHER THIRTY SECONDS!

-frowns-

-nods-

Hey I love you

Lamee. 

Of course I am! 

I’ll try to not. And knowing you’re doing good is… good. -scoffs lightly- I’ll be fine. I’m always fine. 

-hears shouting on the other end- 
Love you -smiles a little-

I’ll call you next time I get a chance.

-hangs up-

-GROANS-

Okay twenty.

nyxcarver:

shutupnswag:

Oh shit that bad huh?

-frowns and glances at timer counting down-

FUCK. I said I didn’t get long and I meant it uhh… yknow if you ever feel like yer all alone you can write me a letter right? 20 pushups per letter and 40 per package but I don’t mind. I ain’t got one yet…

 Mmhmm. Oh shit, really? -quickly looks at phone- It’s not even been 4 minutes…. :(

I’ve been putting a package together for you. Maybe I’ll send it early and send you another with the rest. hehehehe
I’m glad you’re doing ok! 

Yeah I only get five…. 8(

Holy shit yer really gonna send me one?? Fuck yeah!

Just don’t worry about me while I’m here okay? I’m doin’ great and sometimes its hard but if shit ain’t hard it aint worth it, right? I hope yer okay…

TURNER IT’S GARRISONS TIME FOR THE PHONE! HANG UP NOW OR TWENTY FOR ANOTHER THIRTY SECONDS!

-frowns-

-nods-

Hey I love you

nyxcarver:

shutupnswag:

Oh and you gotta tell Dani happy birthday for me. I can’t really send her anything but she can totally send me some nudes of she wants to tide me over. Not that I ever get time to rub one out anywa-

HEY

Hey hey you okay? 8(

Oh yeah! I can pass along the birthday message. Though don’t hold your breath on those nudes. 

-puts a small box of lucky charms in the basket- 
-sighs softly- It’s nothing big. I just got a painful reminder last night and I feel like I got set back weeks is all. Otherwise I drank 13 beers and made it to the world’s end and I have a bit of a hangover… 

Oh shit that bad huh?

-frowns and glances at timer counting down-

FUCK. I said I didn’t get long and I meant it uhh… yknow if you ever feel like yer all alone you can write me a letter right? 20 pushups per letter and 40 per package but I don’t mind. I ain’t got one yet…

nyxcarver:

shutupnswag:

-drops the fake accent-

Naw it’s me. Man, Nyx … I got like a million’n ten things to tell you but I only got a few minutes. Holy shit the first day we had to drink an entire gallon of water without stopping to show how important it is to hydrate and like HALF THE DUDES STARTED THROWING UP IT WAS SO FUNNY! Oh and I learned so fucking quick to keep my mouth shut you wouldn’t believe it. I was pretty good til like a week in and I mouthed off and I had to run with one of my buddies over my shoulder for an entire MILE! HAHAHHA I won’t fucking do that again. But everytime I get my marks they’re awesome and did you know I could fully load a rifle at the top of my class?

-takes a deep breath-

What about you?? How’ve you been?

OhmygodClyde. …. -starts to speak but isn’t sure what to comment on first- I-I’m glad you’re having a good time. Hehehehe 

I’m… alright I guess. -shrugs up one shoulder while walking down the cereal aisle- 

Oh and you gotta tell Dani happy birthday for me. I can’t really send her anything but she can totally send me some nudes of she wants to tide me over. Not that I ever get time to rub one out anywa-

HEY

Hey hey you okay? 8(

nyxcarver:

shutupnswag:

Nyx!!!

-exaggerated southern accent-

Guess who done earned himself his first ever phone call from the You-NITED States Military?

!! -smiles a little- Hey!

……some dude from the 19th century? You sound— your accent is somehow worse. -teases-

-drops the fake accent-

Naw it’s me. Man, Nyx … I got like a million’n ten things to tell you but I only got a few minutes. Holy shit the first day we had to drink an entire gallon of water without stopping to show how important it is to hydrate and like HALF THE DUDES STARTED THROWING UP IT WAS SO FUNNY! Oh and I learned so fucking quick to keep my mouth shut you wouldn’t believe it. I was pretty good til like a week in and I mouthed off and I had to run with one of my buddies over my shoulder for an entire MILE! HAHAHHA I won’t fucking do that again. But everytime I get my marks they’re awesome and did you know I could fully load a rifle at the top of my class?

-takes a deep breath-

What about you?? How’ve you been?

nyxcarver:

shutupnswag:

A MONTH IN AND I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST FUCKING PHONE CALL!!!

-FLIES OUT OF ROOM AND RUNS DOWN THE HALL-

IT’S MY PHONE CALL DAY!

-shifts basket from one hand to the other and tugs phone from pocket and answers it without looking at the caller ID- 

Hello? 

Nyx!!!

-exaggerated southern accent-

Guess who done earned himself his first ever phone call from the You-NITED States Military?

I EARNED A PHONE CALL!!!

A MONTH IN AND I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST FUCKING PHONE CALL!!!

-FLIES OUT OF ROOM AND RUNS DOWN THE HALL-

IT’S MY PHONE CALL DAY!

Have you been to the gas chamber yet??

Yeah I didn’t make it through the first time like a piece of shit but second time I was okay. I just imagined I was dealing with one of my baby sisters massive farts. And just like with her farts, when the gas chamber was done I was able to wash out my sore and aching eyes.

I'm so proud of you! ugh this isnt worth shit, forget 20 push ups...ok I'll put in a joke... What does December have that other months don’t have? The D :)

HAHHAHAHAAHHA!

Oh shi-

GOTTA GO!

Fifty pushups a day and my dicks still hard as fuck.

Fifty pushups a day and my dicks still hard as fuck.